Ally is 24, and generally agreed to be female. Therefore, it is reasonably safe to assume that she is a 24 year old female (or perhaps some species of duck).

Ally is currently employed as a student, a job which she hopes to hold on to for another couple of years. Her current level of student rests somewhere in the area of “postgraduate”. At the moment, she lives in Scotland, although you can rejoice in the knowledge that she is, in fact, a rather proud Canadian. She has an irrational fear of spiders and zombies, loves to knit and sing obnoxiously for her friends, and has been known to wax poetic on the subject of “the hat that got away” and a pair of missing underpants.

It has also been suggested – although those in power are quick (too quick?) to shoot the idea down – that Ally is somewhat of a nerd. A Ninja Turtles loving, film and cartoon quoting, constant book-reading, early 90’s dance music listening to nerd, with tendencies towards (but not necessarily interest in) video games, comics, and crayons. The last may be unrelated. It has been established that Ally uses Linux, but not particularly well.
Ally’s spokesperson has stated that, “while the notion that Ally is a nerd is in fact wholly laughable, if it were to be incontrovertibly proved, then she would like to direct the blame towards her brother, whose fault it entirely is that she is currently not, but might later be revealed as, a nerd. Thank you.“

Despite being intelligent, stunningly beautiful, funny, majestic, cuddly, graceful, creative, morally upright, sassy, telekinetic, and widely hailed as the Goddess of Grand (there are prophets spreading the word), all is not well for Ally. She suffers daily from a crippling superiority complex, and is frequently held back by her obscene sense of humility (and humour). In addition, Ally has been known to exhibit several major sociopathic tendencies ummm… puppies.

You may rapidly come to realize (in reading the helpful column) that Ally occasionally leans towards that which is commonly called “sarcasm”. For those unfamiliar with the term, Scott Feschuk defines it as “Sarcasm: for those times when cynicism’s not quite enough, but hitting the person with a plank of some kind just isn’t possible.” It is the opinion of scientists around the world that Ally’s use of sarcasm (widely held to be the defence of losers) results from the previously mentioned superiority complex.

However, the best thing that can be said about Ally is that she answers your questions on this blog. And that means that she is a magnificent person. As magnificent, surely, as Mother Theresa – perhaps moreso. She may answer your questions with blatant insults, that sarcasm we mentioned, rambling and incoherent sentences of more than 100 words, and a heavy reliance on flat out lies, but she does answer them. And really, if you were looking for truth, you would have gone to Wikipedia. For serial, guys.