Hello, loyal readers.
No doubt you all have burning questions to ask me, so I feel as though I should probably figure out a good way for you to do so. Please submit any questions to questions.askally@gmail.com, and if it’s good – and filled with a proper amount of praise for yours truly – it has a decent chance of being selected for an Ask Ally.
Sign your question e-mail with not only your name (or a variant thereof which you feel comfortable in submitting to the interblag) but also a general location, i.e. Jean D’Arc, Wyoming.
If you’d like your question to be anonymous, make sure you sign your question with “anonymous” and a location, and I will keep your identity as secret as Superman’s Clark Kent persona (i.e. blatantly obvious but never stated).
Since I understand that my MASSIVE popularity (and breasts) will mean that not all questions posed will be selected, I think the plan will be that only serious questions from which I can spin lengthy and comical answers will be considered for an Ask Ally.
** New plan! The above is still true, but please send silly, inane little questions and they will most likely be used in a quickie, to fill up my time and website space, and make it look like I’ve actually done something!**
Now, I have had experience with people and e-mails, so I’m just going to go over this one more time, ridiculously clearly.
To submit a question, send an e-mail that looks like this:
Dear Ally,
*INSERT QUESTION HERE*
Thanks!
Yours,
*Insert name and location here*
Got it? Good. Now, when you have filled out the template e-mail with your question and desired name/location, you will address it to the following e-mail address:
questions.askally@gmail.com
Now, if you have the intelligence of a six year old, there should be no problems. NONE. Right? Grood.
Also please note, all blog posts and original image files on Ask Ally are CC (by-nc-nd) Ally (contact at above e-mail address for details and queries)
Dear Ally
Please could you pepper your website with more pictures of your lovely self. Of course, your witty repartee is the main feature, but your pleasing visage is rather easy on the eye and would be a great incentive for folk to return more frequently.
Yours
Dark Mallas
Toronto
P.S. I do so miss Scotland. Have you learnt the language yet?
My dearest Mr Mallas,
Although I strongly suspect that you may secretly be, in fact, a most insidious evil villain, I will still deign to consider your request. I must admit I am not adverse to drawing in readers by pimping out that which genetics has so kindly bestowed upon me: namely *my face*.
I am sure Scotland misses you too. I mean, she hasn’t mentioned anything lately, but I can tell. There’s a tension in her shoulders.
Are you aware of http://www.askanally.com/? You’re site has better questions and answers, but theirs has a clickable ikea catalogue.
Dear Mr. or Madame Antidote,
I was not previously aware of this poseur site with its fancy flash graphics and its comfortable couches, but now that you have been so kind as to open my eyes, I say this to the proprietors of such preposterous poppycock: my public will not prostrate itself before your pandering pictures of posh psychiatry. Your pretty ploy to persuade my populace to quit my perfect pronunciation of propaganda… er, I mean… knowledge… will not be permitted! Even your plush payoffs will not prevail!
Plus I could totally have all of that awesome stuff, I just don’t wanna.