The “You Shmooze, You Lose” Edition

The Incredibly Intelligent Irene from Iowa inquires:

To the fantastically amazing Ms. Ally,

How would one deal with an overconfident classmate in graduate school where egos are part of the game? This same classmate shmoozes with the best of them and profs love him. Plus he’s actually incredibly smart. I’m just as smart but not a kiss-ass!

Intelligent Irene

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My dearest and most highly esteemed Irene,

Ahhhh dear, the perils of the post-graduate pretender! I am, luckily, far untouched from this phenomenon, however rumours have reached me that such fools do exist.

I must admit that I find it difficult to comprehend such behaviour myself. I mean, there is always going to be a certain degree of nerdly excitement involved in academic discussions. The brown noser, on the other hand – also known as kiss-ass, suck-up, apple-polisher, or butt-monkey – displays a constant flow of tongue-in-ass behaviour which annoys fellow students while managing to stay entirely off the radar of most professors.

The “Tannin Bed” Edition

Emily, of Minneapolis (Minnesota) wonders,

Dear Ally:

If one were to have a pristine, snow white hoodie of the most stunning nature, and one were to be so unfortunate as to spill some coffee onto that pristine, snow white hoodie, how would one remove such stains from said article of clothing?

Best,
Emily

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Dear Emily,

Well, this hoodie of yours certainly sounds like an enviable piece of fleecy joy! I hope that this coffee stain was relatively recent – the best time to remove a coffee stain is, obviously, immediately after the spillage has taken place.