The “Yo Mama” Edition

Dear Ally,

Why are there joke murderers? Why do they exist?

Best,
Gráinne

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Sehr geehrter Herr Gráinne,

My free online translator slaved over that extensive piece of English to German translation, so you’d best appreciate. Also it best be right. Because if we cannot trust the internets, who can we trust?

Your question might require some explanation for those who have had the good fortune not to run into such an individual, or who have but are not familiar with the term “joke murderer”.

A joke murderer indicates a person who, by some sort of innate talent or through the absolute lack of a sense of humour, manages to destroy what would have otherwise been a perfectly funny joke. I must clarify: I am not merely referring to someone who is incapable of delivering a scripted joke (as those are never funny) or whose failure to understand a joke causes for a lengthy explanation which negates the humour.

Ask Ally takes on Nessie

Yes, I did. Instead of updating I went to Loch Ness.

I did not see the point in facing off the legendary monster, given that it has lived so peacefully for so long, so sadly there is no epic story there.

However…

Ally’s Artistic Expression

Yeah, Ally is all about expanding her methods of artistic expression. From writing, to composing humourous songs (and poems, which are sometimes a kind of song), to (now) pre-fab webcomicry!

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/allyeulalie

It’s about my little brother, Kiby. He does some pretty funny things sometimes, so I decided to chronicle them in the most lasting and classy way possible: exploiting someone else’s art on the interblags. It’s kind of how I roll.

Anyway, I sort of hope this works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t really matter! Yay!

The “Inked” Edition

Hey Ally! It’s Paul. You know … one of the guys that lives with your brother. We’ve met a couple times. I have had a question to ask you for sometime now, and am finally asking you this question. I will celebrate once I have sent this and proceed to announce my self-pride to the world. So here it is:

I have been thinking of getting a tattoo on my right shoulder blade. The design is one that a buddy from high school drew for me and is a some what complex design. Now the dilemma is finding a place in the KW area that is not too sketchy and expensive to get such a custom tattoo done. So I have come to you, Ally. I wish to know if there are some reputable places in the KW area that don’t charge you an arm and a leg to get a custom tattoo done. Thank you and I can’t wait to read your response to it.

Paul V

P.S. I was reading your post about your dog and I loved it… shear genius =D

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Dear Paul,

Ah yes, I remember you. You had hair, I believe, when we met. Also possibly some sort of face, and at least one foot. Anyway, I would like to preface this answer with a comment: cool tattoo! It will look scrumtrelescent. If you don’t know what that means, look it up – but not in any “real” dictionary; that kind of thing ain’t my style. For those of you who haven’t seen this tattoo – it sucks to be you, but I’m not putting it up here, because that would mean one of the six people who read this blog might get it, and ruin the originality… and I will not stand for any of that!

Moving along…