A “Platyputastic” Edition

Before you start: I am an English student. Therefore, even if Platyputastic wasn’t previously a word, my using it now has made it a word. I have that power. So don’t go with the complaints or the questions. I’ll even define it for you:

Platyputastic (pron. Platt-ee-put-ass-tick): Something what is fantastic and what also involves Platypi.

And so, we can now get to the question!
Rebecca, from Awesometown, writes:

DEAR ALLY THE GREAT
Why are platypi so shy? I know you love them so, enough to know the grammatical correctness of the species. So you must know the answer intrinsically within your soul.

Sincerely, your pal,
Rebecca of Awesometown

*   *   *   *   *

Dear Rebecca,

The shyness of the platypus is of course one of life’s great mysteries – and fortunately for you, one of the many which I have taken it upon myself to solve.

The answer that I found is a heartbreaking story of broken hearts and trampled spirits. You see, it all started many years ago, when the now shy and withdrawn platypi were The Proud and Noble Ancient Species that are the Duck-billed Platypi!