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Archive for November, 2007|Monthly archive page

The “Roommate Rage” Edition

In Advice, Funny, Life, People, question, Relationships on November 28, 2007 at 10:30 pm

Two questions came my way about dealing with roommates this week. Hear that? Two. That’s one more than one! Clearly people are hurting, and it’s up to me to help.

First, Zatylia, from the Umbrella Corporation, wrote:

Dear Ally,

Thank God you are back from your hiatus. I felt incomplete.

Question: how do you tell a roommate that his music sucks? Keep in mind I’m passive aggressive!

LOVE YOU!

ZATYLIA MAESTRAM

Second, Tired and Cranky desperately asked:

Dear Ally,

How do you tell a roommate that you hate when her boyfriend is over because because you can’t get to sleep? Without causing a fight, that is.

Tired and Cranky (…I like sleep).

*   *   *   *   *

Ah, my dearest Zatylia and Ms. Cranky – how much I do sympathize with you.

I must tell you a tiny little secret – but be careful not to repeat it, lest it get back to the wrong ears: I too have suffered through the abominable hell of roommates. Don’t even get me started on the gaggle I managed to rope together last year! What a bunch of horrible old hags they were! Noisy, disrespectful, generally inconsiderate both of my private property and my personal space, and not to mention their almost complete and total lack of attention to hygiene! Read the rest of this entry »

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An Ask Ally Quickie No.2

In Uncategorized on November 24, 2007 at 4:24 pm

Well, I’m sure you all remember what a quickie is – blah blah broom closet blah blah no satisfaction blah blah made a mess with the cleaning supplies blah blah – so we can move along then!

Rory (remember Rory? Apparently he’s from Antigonish) pens:

Hi, I’m from Antigonish. (Thanks for that, Rory)
Thanks for answering. (Oh, you’re welcome!)
Do you liek mudkips? (L-I-K-E, Rory, l-i-k-e)
-Rory

*   *   *   *   *

Dear Rory,

Yes I understand the cultural reference behind both the question and the deliberate misspelling of the word “like.” Just needed to preface with that so I didn’t get a barrage of (okay, two) horrified comments. Though, I am likely to get them still… Read the rest of this entry »

The “It’s About Damned Time” Edition

In Advice, Funny, Life, People, question, Social Commentary on November 23, 2007 at 8:30 pm

Well, honestly, it’s about time someone got around to asking me this all important question.It actually almost hurts that no one thought to ask me before. Almost, but then, not. So here comes part two of my brilliant demonstration of reciprocity (in return I fully expect nothing less than absolute love and admiration)…

Definitely-not-Cailen from Antigonish types,

Dear Ally

Wowzers, I just read your “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow” edition, and was blown away-ish.[…Edited for posterity…] My question is: how did you manage to become so awesome? I think I’m kinda awesome, but think I could learn from you if you attempted to teach me.

Sincerely,

Definitely-not-Cailen

* * * * *

Dear “Not-Cailen”

This wouldn’t be the “not Cailen” who is performing at the Bauer Theatre in Antigonish tomorrow starting at 8pm and costing only $7.00? If it were, that would be pretty nifty, and I’d advise any Ask Ally readers in the “Go-nish area to attend.
Shameless advertisements aside, I truly hope that this question was not posed sarcastically. Because I seriously have much to teach (and you, therefore, much to learn). The true strength of my awesomnity is such that it can never be revealed to mere mortal, however I can, if I deem the cause worthy, allow a ray of pure brilliance to glance upon the eye of the most humble worshiper. Maybe. If you bring cookies. Read the rest of this entry »

The “Fr-Ends?” Edition

In Advice, Funny, Life, People, Relationships on November 23, 2007 at 7:36 pm

I apologize profusely for the prolonged absence, oh abundance of (okay, six) loyal readers!

Katie from Ottawa (nee Dundas) begins with:

Dear Ally,

Long time reader… first time writing in. Love your column. (Great way to begin, n’est pas?)

What is the best way to revive a friendship if you have been a horrible friend? In this case the horrible friend got too involved in her own life, and sucked at communicating, especially over long distances.

Thanks!

Katie

*   *   *   *   *

Dear Katie,

Wow – I must admit that, although nearly devoid of the oodles of admiration bordering on worship on which I usually base my selection, your heartrending question was one I simply could not avoid answering. For you see, it is a question which touches very closely on my own experiences on both sides.

Allow me a pause while I dab at the tears which began to well up in my eyes… Read the rest of this entry »