Archive for March, 2008|Monthly archive page

The “Shasta Speaks” Edition

In Fashion, Life, People on March 29, 2008 at 2:06 am

The question came from my own dearest brother, known affectionately as “the Kiby”, of (for those of you with a severe speech impediment) Waloo! The question was as follows:

Oh dearest, brilliant sister of mine!

There is a question that has perplexed my meager intellect for many a winter. I have just now come to the conclusion that you, in your near infinite wisdom, could answer it for me!

So, dear sister: where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?


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Dear Kibz,

Allow me to tell you a dark, and terrifying tale… Read the rest of this entry »


And Now For the Monthly Ask Ally Apology…

In People, Social Commentary on March 17, 2008 at 9:26 pm

First off: I am sorry. I know you’re all anxiously awaiting my brilliant, earth-shattering, ground-shaking, side-splitting interview with Carmen, aka Shasta, but you’ll have to wait until Saturday.

I have a paper due on Friday, and I have been very very busy with scholarship applications and the like prior to working on this paper. Thus, I have not been in the best shape for pure comedic genius, and when it’s something as important as Shasta I refuse to pen anything less.

So please, continue with your patience and your admiration. If you just stick it out, together we’ll pull through this to the ultimate reward: hilarity. And also hopefully a kick-ass mark on my paper which will help with those scholarships I mentioned.

Also, in other news, it has come to my attention (in a very delayed fashion) that the one and only Patrick Swayze is battling pancreatic cancer. I wish him luck and success, but when it comes to it, there’s only one thing I have to say on the subject:

The Y2K Edition?

God damn you, Optimus Prime.

An Ask Ally Trailer: Coming Soon!

In Uncategorized on March 3, 2008 at 2:21 am

Coming soon, to an Ask Ally viewing near you!!!

There is one question whose shadow hangs over our heads…

One question which is a part of our very souls, every day of our lives

One question which we cannot forget…

A question which has puzzled the greatest thinkers since the dawn of the early 90’s…

A question to which all other questions look to in their time of need…

A question which no man has ever dared to undertake…

But ALLY is no man!

She took that question, she tackled it in a tub of cherry jello, and she wrestled it into submission…

She emerged victorious, with the answer to the question,

There’s a story here. It will be told.


“I found out where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. She’s in Detroit, living under the alias “Shasta Delacroix,” and making a living as a Ricky Martin impersonator”

Public Enemy

Now, Ally brings you the whole story. In an exclusive interview with Carmen “Shasta Delacroix” Sandiego, Ally will reveal all: the dizzying highs – the terrifying lows – the creamy middles…

Prepare to wet your pants in anticipation, and then do so, as you eagerly await…


The Y2K Edition?

...and yes, Optimus Prime does figure heavily…


… No, he doesn’t.