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Archive for March, 2008|Monthly archive page

The “Shasta Speaks” Edition

In Fashion, Life, People on March 29, 2008 at 2:06 am

The question came from my own dearest brother, known affectionately as “the Kiby”, of (for those of you with a severe speech impediment) Waloo! The question was as follows:

Oh dearest, brilliant sister of mine!

There is a question that has perplexed my meager intellect for many a winter. I have just now come to the conclusion that you, in your near infinite wisdom, could answer it for me!

So, dear sister: where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

~Kibz

*   *   *   *   *

Dear Kibz,

Allow me to tell you a dark, and terrifying tale… Read the rest of this entry »

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And Now For the Monthly Ask Ally Apology…

In People, Social Commentary on March 17, 2008 at 9:26 pm

First off: I am sorry. I know you’re all anxiously awaiting my brilliant, earth-shattering, ground-shaking, side-splitting interview with Carmen, aka Shasta, but you’ll have to wait until Saturday.

I have a paper due on Friday, and I have been very very busy with scholarship applications and the like prior to working on this paper. Thus, I have not been in the best shape for pure comedic genius, and when it’s something as important as Shasta I refuse to pen anything less.

So please, continue with your patience and your admiration. If you just stick it out, together we’ll pull through this to the ultimate reward: hilarity. And also hopefully a kick-ass mark on my paper which will help with those scholarships I mentioned.

Also, in other news, it has come to my attention (in a very delayed fashion) that the one and only Patrick Swayze is battling pancreatic cancer. I wish him luck and success, but when it comes to it, there’s only one thing I have to say on the subject:

The Y2K Edition?

God damn you, Optimus Prime.

An Ask Ally Trailer: Coming Soon!

In Uncategorized on March 3, 2008 at 2:21 am

Coming soon, to an Ask Ally viewing near you!!!

There is one question whose shadow hangs over our heads…

One question which is a part of our very souls, every day of our lives

One question which we cannot forget…

A question which has puzzled the greatest thinkers since the dawn of the early 90’s…

A question to which all other questions look to in their time of need…

A question which no man has ever dared to undertake…

But ALLY is no man!

She took that question, she tackled it in a tub of cherry jello, and she wrestled it into submission…

She emerged victorious, with the answer to the question,

There’s a story here. It will be told.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO???

“I found out where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. She’s in Detroit, living under the alias “Shasta Delacroix,” and making a living as a Ricky Martin impersonator”

Public Enemy

Now, Ally brings you the whole story. In an exclusive interview with Carmen “Shasta Delacroix” Sandiego, Ally will reveal all: the dizzying highs – the terrifying lows – the creamy middles…

Prepare to wet your pants in anticipation, and then do so, as you eagerly await…

ASK ALLY: THE “SHASTA SPEAKS” EDITION!!!

The Y2K Edition?

...and yes, Optimus Prime does figure heavily…

OR DOES HE?

… No, he doesn’t.