askally

Archive for April, 2008|Monthly archive page

My Dog, The Shit

In 20377, Animals, Dog, Funny, Relationships, Social Commentary on April 29, 2008 at 1:47 am

Some of you will have heard me talk of my dog. You will have heard me describe him as anything from a sarcastic, grizzled ol’ nineteeth-century prospector to an embittered, sexually confused, drunken, middle-aged cougar.

I would like, if I may, to offer you an image of my darling dog: love of my life, and belligerent, contemptuous little shit. If you’ve had the privilege of getting to know this miraculously long-lived creature, you can vouch that the picture I shall paint is uncannily accurate.
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An Ode for my Underpants

In Uncategorized on April 9, 2008 at 1:45 am

I’d like to take a moment to share with you a more personal side of Ally.

At this late hour, I’ve taken to reflecting on my life. There’s one moment which stands out in my memory like an electrocuted cat in a line-up of puppies – the day my underpants blew away. One moment, I am innocently doing my laundry, carrying the clean clothes up from the washer in the basement, walking up the outside steps in the fresh, Nova Scotian spring breeze. The next, the cruel ocean wind rips a pair of my underpants from the basket and hurls it off into nothingness…

It took me a long time to get over that unfortunate afternoon – months. In the process of healing, I wrote an ode for those underpants. I’d like you all to experience it now.

An Ode to my Underpants