askally

Archive for July, 2008|Monthly archive page

An Ask Ally Advertisement

In Uncategorized on July 30, 2008 at 12:31 am

ALLY LOVES ALLITERATION!

Alliteration. I loves it.

Anyway, moving on: I just wanted to throw in a plug for a few wobsites that I love and check daily… or at least, frequently… well, occasionally… anyway, I’ve been paid to say they’re great. I have most of these linked at the side of the site, so check them out! Read the rest of this entry »

The “Is(n’t) She Lovely?” Edition

In Beauty, Funny, People, question on July 30, 2008 at 12:07 am

Dear Ally

Please could you pepper your website with more pictures of your lovely self. Of course, your witty repartee is the main feature, but your pleasing visage is rather easy on the eye and would be a great incentive for folk to return more frequently.

Yours

Dark Mallas
Toronto

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Apparently I’m pretty – I know this because my mum tells me so all the time! Read the rest of this entry »

The “Clowning Around” Edition

In Advice, Funny, Life, People, question, Social Commentary on July 29, 2008 at 6:24 pm

Trish, from London (ON), writes:

Dear Ally,

Clowns are creepy. Devastatingly creepy. As devastatingly creepy as you are devastatingly gorgeous. Why, then, do people insist on using them as a form of children’s entertainment? It seems horribly inappropriate!

Thanks!
Trish

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My Dear Trish

It is a scientific fact that many, many people have developed deep-seated phobias about clowns (known as coulrophobia), usually from prolonged exposure to them while still a child. One might think, therefore, that given the large percentage of the adult population who are themselves petrified of clowns that the number of children forced to endure clown-interaction would eventually decline, as parents everywhere became aware of the extensive psychological trauma that they were unknowingly inflicting on little Timmy.

But, strangely, it isn’t, it hasn’t, and it won’t be. Read the rest of this entry »

Ask Ally’s Open Letter to the State of Minnesota

In Funny, Life, question on July 7, 2008 at 2:01 am

Dear Minnesota,

In grade 11 – when I was still an impressionable young thing – I was introduced the sheer glory that is the major motion picture Drop Dead Gorgeous.

I don’t think I need to say that my heart was nearly scorched by the fire that blazed up within its cockles from the moment I first heard the line “Iris, you taped over it with your shows”. Do you know, State of Minnesota, why such an unassuming – yet unctuous – utterance might have inspired me so?

It was you. Read the rest of this entry »