C’est L’Amour…

In Funny, People, Relationships on February 14, 2009 at 12:16 am

An Open Letter (, or A Sexual Proposition):


Dear Steven Seagal……’s Eyebrows,

I want to make sweet, sweet, arched love to you. Your sweeping darkness, your polished gleam…

I… I think I am in love with you. The emotion that you convey, so artfully, through the gleaming small screen to which your films have unjustly been relegated… it warms my otherwise cold and distant heart.

So perfect; not a hair out of place. None of that bushy disorder that usually characterises masculine eyebrows, that oily chaos which so disgusts me.

My love, my life...

My love, my life...

Your’s is a graceful masculinity. Feline, sleek, sexy. Piercing intensity; peaked sexuality… yes, you’ve certainly peaked my sexuality.

In 50 minutes, it will be Valentine’s Day. The day of Hallmark’s triumph, but initially the day of the lovers. In… 48 minutes, it will be my day. Our day.

This Valentine’s Day… be with me. Be mine, Valentine.


  1. MMMmmmm great choice…I will forward the link to this to his “fan” site…let ‘s see what happens.

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