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Archive for August, 2009|Monthly archive page

Ode to a Movie Theatre

In Uncategorized on August 9, 2009 at 2:31 pm

In a desperate attempt to make it look like I am updating with more frequency, I am going to post an Ode that I wrote at the request of a former co-worker and awesome dude (who subsequently became my prophet).

So, without further ado, I present to you…

Ode to a Movie Theatre
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An “Un-Bear-able” Edition

In Animals, Beauty, Funny, Social Commentary on August 3, 2009 at 8:59 pm

Dear Ally,

Which bear is best?

Thanks,
Joanna, Botswana

* * *

My Dearest Joanna,

Which bear? Well, bear in mind that there are many different kind of bears. Grizzly bears, Polar bears, Black bears, Blue bears, Yellow bears, Purple bears, Koala bears, Panda bears, Kodiak bears, Gobi bears, Atlas bears, Sun bears, Moon bears, Sloth bears, Cave bears, House bears, Spectacle bears, Hat bears, Shoe bears, etc, etc, etc…

I may have made some of those up (surprisingly, Spectacle bears wasn’t one of them), but I can assure you that there are several different bears to take into consideration; I can barely begin to evaluate the qualities of each bear, but if I were to look particularly at the bare necessities, I think I could easily narrow it down to the following breeds of bear: Polar, Grizzly, Panda, Black, and Moon. Sorry, Kodiak – I made up Moon bears.

Now, when I think of bears, I am immediately reminded of beauty queens. Wait, sorry, that’s wrong. When I think of beauty queens, I am immediately reminded of bears, and of how much I would enjoy watching a bear set loose in a beauty pageant. But whatever the mental process, the fact remains that the two are inextricably linked in my mind Read the rest of this entry »