askally

Valentine’s Day Haiku (Because I love our love. It’s lovely)

In Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships on February 10, 2011 at 4:20 am

I was tweeting these Valentine’s Day themed haiku that I came up with because I was thinking about how much I dislike Valentine’s Day and how much I like haiku and how much I was failing at getting any work done so I might as well marry the first two ideas in genius.

I don’t know about the genius, but I did successfully waste a half an hour. There will be more, I’ll add them as they come.

#1

Oh! Tesco roses,

seduce me with wilted petals

and store brand cider.

#2

Two months, now, of your

sloppy kisses – too much tongue!

But I won’t end it.

#3

Your hand grips my hand –

sweaty palms. Sidewalk: the

dominion of our love.

#4

Our love beams through time

and space; it burns. Like that time

you gave me the clap.

#5

Your lips, begging for

my kiss; sweet, wet, tongues slick, lick.

Mononucleosis love.

(if you slur “mononucleosis” it’s almost four syllables…)

#6

Bodies united in

motion-heat-friction; the start

of a nine month wait.

#7

Your skin like ice, blue-

veined marble. In death, perfection.

Well worth the dig.

(Don’t get all squeamish; necrophiles need lovin’ too)

#8

He’s sweet – perfect – with

bronze, toned abs. You don’t know him.

My boyfriend from camp.

(Loads of people had one. Apparently some people outside of Canada had a “boyfriend from Canada”, because Canadian men are the ideal?)

#9

An embossed sparkly

pig sings “The Power of Love”.

This card speaks to me.

#10

I raised the dead to

show you how much I love you.

Why are you running?

#11

One love, one phone call,

just to say I committed

a felony for you.

*Note: I am aware of my syllabic inconsistencies. Considering the fact that the syllabic structure of haiku is some perverted, practically arbitrary English interpretation of Japanese haiku anyway, I don’t consider this the world’s greatest scandal.

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amanda Leduc, Ally. Ally said: Moved #valentinesdayhaiku to the blog for now. Three new haiku added to the lot: http://tinyurl.com/4bdup5g […]

  2. Hahahaha!!! Ohhhhh Goddddd the clap one killed me! Haha I actually was expecting a nice one actually about love…and then I read it and was not expecting it…my roommate heard me laughing from his room lmao absolutely brilliant!!!

  3. Mono is a nasty disease since it can cause you to become bed ridden with high fevers and body aches.””.’.

    Many thanks http://healthmedicinelab.com/heat-rash-treatment/

  4. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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