More Valentines Day Haiku: Because Love Don’t Cost a Thing

In Animals, Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships on February 11, 2011 at 2:34 am

Requests were made for more haiku. Okay, a request was made. But since I had written about 600 words today, I felt that I was justified in indulging further procrastination. But I must warn you that for some reason I was obsessed with bestiality tonight. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but apparently it was lurking in the back of my mind for some unknown reason. A number of the haiku reflect that fact.

And so:


My tail for legs: I

moved worlds for you, but mermaid

sex is still bestial


One solitary

sperm, on the ride of its life,

off to ruin yours.

(No babies for me, thanks. Wrap that shit up.)


In your eyes, sweet love

might be lurking, but in my

drink there are roofies.


I would rather shrink

from your touch forever than

face dying alone.

(There are worse things than being alone.)


OMGZ, we R

DESTINED 2 B 2gethr:

I ❤ music, 2!

(Tweens are crazy. Remember, all babies will become this blight on humanity some day. Wrap that shit up.)


The knife in your hand

eloquently convinces.

Yes, I still love you


They don’t understand

our love; they think that a man

just can’t love goats


Moment of passion

my mind wanders: you sound like

a tortoise in heat

(I warned you.)


Your voice is my all.

Each soft cadence thrills me so,

phone sex operator.


My ideal destroyed

Angel of beauty fallen

Goddesses don’t fart.

(They do. They really do.)


Cascade of roses,

plush bears with glass eyes staring.

There’s no forgiveness.


Nameless IT boy:

laptop saviour; sweet smile. I’m

no-one in your eyes.

(Oh IT Boy, I will always love you. Whitney Houston style.)

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amanda Leduc, Ally. Ally said: More Valentines Day Haiku: Because Love Don't Cost a Thing […]

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