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Posts Tagged ‘death’

Valentines’ Day Haiku Part III: I love chicken, I love liver, MeowMix MeowMix please deliver

In Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships, Social Commentary on February 17, 2011 at 12:30 am

The final installment of my Valentines’ Day Haiku tweet collection brings together tweets from the day leading up to V-Day, as well as the grand occasion itself.

#1

Slipping on icy

cobble-stones, frost on the glass.

Month of love and roses.

(Yeah, I added an extra syllable. Deal with it)

#2

So soft in my arms.

We hug, I am comforted.

My teddy loves me.

(My teddy’s name is Penny the Gender Ambiguous Bear)

#3

Red roses, red wine

red hearts, red cards, red army

Communist onslaught?

(Think about it) (Least successful communist onslaught ever)

#4

Valentines pancakes.

Heart-shaped, drowning in syrup

and love. Digested.

#5

Read the rest of this entry »

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A “Famously Tragic” Edition

In Advice, Life, People, Social Commentary on January 26, 2008 at 1:44 am

Mona, from Tuscon, writes:

Dear Ally,
Can you help me to explain something? Why why why would the universe take away, not only one teen heart throb, but two??? What cosmic force is causing the deaths of Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger? Who is next? Who is next???

Can you please answer these questions? It will give me the closure I need to continue in life.

Sincerely,
Mourning Mona

*   *   *   *   *

My Dear Mona,

In the wake of the tragedies to which you refer, thousands of people are left hopelessly searching the clouds for an answer. And I don’t mean the friends and family, or close acquaintances, I mean thousands of complete and total strangers who clutch their glitter-glue signs, tear tracks staining their faces.
These people’s gutwrenching sadness stems not from sympathy with the previously mentioned friends or family but from the much more important connection that they have formed with the celebrity in question, based entirely on film characters and their own intensely invested daydreams.

It’s either that or that they’re just really upset that they’re going to be denied several hours of mind-numbing entertainment while they stuff their faces with Becel-slathered popcorn. Read the rest of this entry »