Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Valentine’s Day Haiku (Because I love our love. It’s lovely)

In Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships on February 10, 2011 at 4:20 am

I was tweeting these Valentine’s Day themed haiku that I came up with because I was thinking about how much I dislike Valentine’s Day and how much I like haiku and how much I was failing at getting any work done so I might as well marry the first two ideas in genius.

I don’t know about the genius, but I did successfully waste a half an hour. There will be more, I’ll add them as they come.


Oh! Tesco roses,

seduce me with wilted petals

and store brand cider.


Two months, now, of your

sloppy kisses – too much tongue!

But I won’t end it.


Your hand grips my hand –

sweaty palms. Sidewalk: the

dominion of our love.


Our love beams through time

and space; it burns. Like that time

you gave me the clap.

#5 Read the rest of this entry »


The “Yo Mama” Edition

In Life, People, question, Social Commentary on June 17, 2009 at 3:36 am

Dear Ally,

Why are there joke murderers? Why do they exist?


* * * * *

Sehr geehrter Herr Gráinne,

My free online translator slaved over that extensive piece of English to German translation, so you’d best appreciate. Also it best be right. Because if we cannot trust the internets, who can we trust?

Your question might require some explanation for those who have had the good fortune not to run into such an individual, or who have but are not familiar with the term “joke murderer”.

A joke murderer indicates a person who, by some sort of innate talent or through the absolute lack of a sense of humour, manages to destroy what would have otherwise been a perfectly funny joke. I must clarify: I am not merely referring to someone who is incapable of delivering a scripted joke (as those are never funny) or whose failure to understand a joke causes for a lengthy explanation which negates the humour. Read the rest of this entry »

Ask Ally takes on Nessie

In Funny, Life on September 16, 2008 at 12:04 am

Yes, I did. Instead of updating I went to Loch Ness.

I did not see the point in facing off the legendary monster, given that it has lived so peacefully for so long, so sadly there is no epic story there.


Read the rest of this entry »

Ally’s Artistic Expression

In Funny, Life, People, Relationships on August 4, 2008 at 10:31 pm

Yeah, Ally is all about expanding her methods of artistic expression. From writing, to composing humourous songs (and poems, which are sometimes a kind of song), to (now) pre-fab webcomicry!

It’s about my little brother, Kiby. He does some pretty funny things sometimes, so I decided to chronicle them in the most lasting and classy way possible: exploiting someone else’s art on the interblags. It’s kind of how I roll.

Anyway, I sort of hope this works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t really matter! Yay!