askally

Posts Tagged ‘naming’

The “Holy Matrimony” Edition

In Advice, Life, People, question, Relationships, Social Commentary on July 1, 2008 at 4:30 pm

One Mr Kiby Bibz, from Canadia, writes,

Dearest Just-Short-of-Omniscient Ally,

I have been questing for many a winter to find an answer to this most crucial of questions, with a full bucket of failure to show for it. I ask you, then, in my time of need to bring wisdom and insight, such as you are wont to do, and throw it unceremoniously at my question, resulting in the mysterious pink goo of answer stuff.

So, dear Ally, where does the future of relationships and unions lie?

Your number two fan (hilarious mental image),
Kiby

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My dearest Mr Bibz,

Please excuse me for a moment, won’t you? There is a tiny caterpillar on my windowsill that I must take care of. There – be free you little creepy-crawly, and get the hell out of my ivy plant.

Moving along, your question intrigues me greatly, mainly because of its somewhat visceral description of the question-answer process. However, it also drove me to ponder the nature of relationships at great length. Read the rest of this entry »

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A “Platyputastic” Edition

In Beauty, Fashion, Social Commentary on February 24, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Before you start: I am an English student. Therefore, even if Platyputastic wasn’t previously a word, my using it now has made it a word. I have that power. So don’t go with the complaints or the questions. I’ll even define it for you:

Platyputastic (pron. Platt-ee-put-ass-tick): Something what is fantastic and what also involves Platypi.

Platypi make great friends

And so, we can now get to the question!
Rebecca, from Awesometown, writes:

DEAR ALLY THE GREAT
Why are platypi so shy? I know you love them so, enough to know the grammatical correctness of the species. So you must know the answer intrinsically within your soul.

Sincerely, your pal,
Rebecca of Awesometown

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Dear Rebecca,

The shyness of the platypus is of course one of life’s great mysteries – and fortunately for you, one of the many which I have taken it upon myself to solve.

The answer that I found is a heartbreaking story of broken hearts and trampled spirits. You see, it all started many years ago, when the now shy and withdrawn platypi were The Proud and Noble Ancient Species that are the Duck-billed Platypi! Read the rest of this entry »