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Posts Tagged ‘Valentines Day’

Valentines’ Day Haiku Part III: I love chicken, I love liver, MeowMix MeowMix please deliver

In Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships, Social Commentary on February 17, 2011 at 12:30 am

The final installment of my Valentines’ Day Haiku tweet collection brings together tweets from the day leading up to V-Day, as well as the grand occasion itself.

#1

Slipping on icy

cobble-stones, frost on the glass.

Month of love and roses.

(Yeah, I added an extra syllable. Deal with it)

#2

So soft in my arms.

We hug, I am comforted.

My teddy loves me.

(My teddy’s name is Penny the Gender Ambiguous Bear)

#3

Red roses, red wine

red hearts, red cards, red army

Communist onslaught?

(Think about it) (Least successful communist onslaught ever)

#4

Valentines pancakes.

Heart-shaped, drowning in syrup

and love. Digested.

#5

Read the rest of this entry »

More Valentines Day Haiku: Because Love Don’t Cost a Thing

In Animals, Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships on February 11, 2011 at 2:34 am

Requests were made for more haiku. Okay, a request was made. But since I had written about 600 words today, I felt that I was justified in indulging further procrastination. But I must warn you that for some reason I was obsessed with bestiality tonight. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but apparently it was lurking in the back of my mind for some unknown reason. A number of the haiku reflect that fact.

And so:

#1

My tail for legs: I

moved worlds for you, but mermaid

sex is still bestial

#2

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Valentine’s Day Haiku (Because I love our love. It’s lovely)

In Funny, Life, People, Poetry, Relationships on February 10, 2011 at 4:20 am

I was tweeting these Valentine’s Day themed haiku that I came up with because I was thinking about how much I dislike Valentine’s Day and how much I like haiku and how much I was failing at getting any work done so I might as well marry the first two ideas in genius.

I don’t know about the genius, but I did successfully waste a half an hour. There will be more, I’ll add them as they come.

#1

Oh! Tesco roses,

seduce me with wilted petals

and store brand cider.

#2

Two months, now, of your

sloppy kisses – too much tongue!

But I won’t end it.

#3

Your hand grips my hand –

sweaty palms. Sidewalk: the

dominion of our love.

#4

Our love beams through time

and space; it burns. Like that time

you gave me the clap.

#5 Read the rest of this entry »

C’est L’Amour…

In Funny, People, Relationships on February 14, 2009 at 12:16 am

An Open Letter (, or A Sexual Proposition):

*****

Dear Steven Seagal… Read the rest of this entry »